Pre-season fixtures for the Premier League teams ahead of the 2010-11 season

Arsenal

17 July v Barnet (A) 3pm

21 July v Sturm Graz (A) 6pm

27 July v SC Neusiedl 1919 (A) 6pm

31 July v Milan (H, Emirates Cup) 4.20pm

1 August v Celtic (H, Emirates Cup) 4.20pm

7 August v Legia Warsaw (A) 3pm

Aston Villa

24 July v Bohemians (A) 3pm

27 July v Walsall (A) 7.45pm

31 July v Feyenoord (A) 9.15pm

1 August v Benfica (A) 9.15pm

6 August v Valencia (H) 7.45pm

Birmingham City

18 July v Hong Kong League Selection Team (A) 3pm

21 July v Beijing Guoan FC (A) 7.30pm

24 July v Liaoning Hongyun Football Club (A) 8pm

31 July v Derby County (A) 3pm

3 August v MK Dons (A) 7.30pm

7 August v Real Mallorca (H) 3pm

Blackburn Rovers

10 July v Sturm Graz (A) 5pm

17 July v Fleetwood Town (A) 3pm

20 July v Preston North End (A) 7.45pm

21 July v Huddersfield Town (A) 7.45pm

25 July v Rangers (N, Sydney Festival of Football) 3pm

28 July v AEK Aens (N, Sydney Festival of Football) 6pm

31 July v Sydney FC (A, Sydney Festival of Football) 7.15pm

7 August v Hearts (A) 3pm

Blackpool

16 July v Tiverton Town (A) 7.30pm

20 July v Accrington Stanley (A) 7.30pm

22 July v Kilmarnock (A) 8pm

27 July v Crewe Alexandra (A) 7.30pm

31 July v Bristol City (A) 3pm

Bolton Wanderers

14 July v Charlotte Eagles (A) TBC

17 July v Charleon Battery (A) TBC

17 July v Bamber Bridge (A) 3pm

21 July v Toronto FC (A) TBC

23 July v Chorley (A) 7.30pm

24 July v Rochdale (A) 3pm

27 July v Curzon Ashton (A) 7.45pm

28 July v Morecambe (A) 7.45pm

30 July v Fleetwood Town (A) 7.45pm

31 July v Falkirk (A) 3pm

2 August v Johnstone (A) 7.45pm

4 August v AFC Fylde (A) 7.45pm

6 August v Osasuna (H) TBC

7 August v Barrow (A) 3pm

Chelsea

17 July v Crystal Palace (A) 3pm

23 July v Ajax (A) 8pm

1 August v Eintracht Frankfurt (A) 3pm

4 August v Hamburg (A) 8pm

Everton

10 July v Sydney FC (A) 7.30pm

14 July v Melbourne Heart (A) 7.30pm

17 July v Brisbane Roar (A) 7.30pm

24 July v Preston North End (A) 3pm

31 July v Norwich City (A) 3pm

4 August v Everton Chile (H) 8pm

7 August v Wolfsburg (A) 4pm

Fulham

14 July v Brentford (A) 8pm

17 July v Bournemouth (A) 3pm

31 July v Portsmouth (A) 3pm

Liverpool

17 July v Al Hilal (A) 6pm

21 July v Grasshopper (A) 6.30pm

24 July v Kaiserslautern (A) TBC

1 August v Borussia Mönchengladbach (A) 1.30pm

Manchester City

23rd July v Sporting Lisbon (A, New York Football Challenge) 8pm

25 July v New York Red Bulls (A, New York Football Challenge) 3pm

28 July v Club America (A) 8pm

31 July v Internazionale (A) 8pm

4 August v Borussia Dortmund (A) 8pm

Manchester United

16 July v Celtic (N) TBC

21 July v Philadelphia Union (A) 7.30pm

25 July v Kansas City Wizards (A) 5pm

28 July v MLS All-Stars (N) 6pm

4 August v League of Ireland XI (N) TBC

Newcastle United

17 July v Carlisle United (A) TBC

24 July v Norwich City (A) 3pm

31 July v PSV Eindhoven (H) TBC

7 August v Rangers (A) TBC

Stoke City

22 July v Nantwich Town (A) 7pm

22 July v Notts County (A) 7.45pm

24 July v Newcastle Town (A) 2.30pm

27 July v Derby County (A) 7.45pm

31 July v Burnley (H) 3pm

3 August v Bristol Rovers (A) 7.45pm

6 August v Wrexham (A) 7.45pm

Sunderland

17 July v Darlington (A) 3pm

Tottenham Hotspur

10 July v Bournemouth (A) 3pm

17 July v San Jose Earquakes (A) TBC

29 July v Villarreal (H) 8pm

3 August v Benfica (A) 7.45pm

7 August v Fiorentina (H) 3pm

West Bromwich Albion

20 July v Crewe Alexandra (A) 7.30pm

24 July v Bristol Rovers (A) 3pm

West Ham United

24 July v Burton Albion (A) 3pm

Wigan Athletic

20 July v Oldham (A) 7.45pm

4 August v Real Zaragoza (H) 7.45pm

8 August v Dundee United (A) 3pm

Wolverhampton Wanderers

17 July v Bohemians (A) 3pm

20 July v Walsall (A) 7.45pm

24 July v Charleroi (A) TBC

27 July v Reading (A) 8pm

30 July v Cheltenham Town (A) 7.45pm

31 July v Leeds United (A) 3pm

3 August v Hearts (A) 7pm

7 August v Athletic Bilbao (H) 3pm

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Today’s sauce comes with added vitamins

Given what happened in the Champions League last night, you would have thought that today’s newspapers would be so full of minutely detailed eight-page cut-out-n-keep graphical representations of Lionel Messi’s four-goal assault on Arsenal and rapidly cobbled-together 11pm think-pieces by some old bloke who thought he’d retired comparing Barcelona’s young tyro with the great players of bygone eras such as Maradona, Pele, Best, Puskas and Blissett, that there simply would be no space for the baseless rumour and freestyle jazz-improv conjecture upon which this column preys.

But you would be wrong. Very wrong indeed. For the Mill this morning brings you a splendid haul of scandal and scuttlebutt, ranging from news that Manchester United are planning a summer of restrained transfer spending to news that Newcastle United are planning a summer of restrained transfer spending, with some other stuff along the way.

So without further ado let’s begin with Manchester City, who are battling Chelsea for Bari defender Leonardo Bonucci and engaged in a tug-o-love with city rivals United for £24m-rated Roma striker Mirko Vucinic. Arsène Wenger had also been sniffing around the Montenegrin but is considered unlikely to compete with the megabucks Mancunians.

As previously hinted, United have disappointed that small minority of their fans still deluded enough to believe that the debt-ravaged club could afford a serious summer shopping spree. “No wholesale buying is needed here,” said Sir Alex Ferguson. “We have a very good squad that just needs tweaking here and there. Not many players will be joining the club.”

A similar tale at Newcastle, where Chris Hughton has been handed a demure £15m transfer kitty with which to successfully ensure survival in the Premier League next season. “They won’t be paying over the odds for anyone,” “a Toon source” tells the Sun. “This is the new Newcastle.”

If West Bromwich follow the Geordies out of the Championship, they will bring Reading’s £2.5m-rated free-scoring midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson with them. The Baggies are also readying a similar bid for Israeli forward Elyaniv Barda, ready to slap on Racing Genk’s boardroom table the moment their promotion is confirmed.

Unlikely to win promotion but quite likely to go on a bit of a splurge anyway are QPR, whose manager of the week, Neil Warnock, has handed bosses a nine-man, £10m transfer must-have go-get list, thought to include Scunthorpe striker Gary Hooper. Southampton’s Adam Lallana, meanwhile, says he is “100%” certain to still be at St Mary’s for the start of next season even though Celtic would prefer him not to be. More likely to leave the south coast is Portsmouth’s veteran striker Kanu, who has been offered a “huge financial incentive” to play out the rest of his career with Dubai outfit Al-Ahli.

Tottenham’s hunt for a new back-up goalkeeper has brought them into battle with Birmingham and Blackburn – more on them in a moment – for Notts County ace Kasper “Son of Peter” Schmeichel, Harry Redknapp hoping that a willingness to let him spend another year at Meadow Lane will work in their favour. Failure with that £2m bid could lead to a £5m move for Atletico Madrid reserve Sergio Asenjo.

Back to Blackburn, then, who want £6m Estudiantes striker Mauro Boselli, Blackpool’s £3m-rated midfielder Charlie Adam and Sporting Lisbon’s Portugal Under-21 starlet Bruno Pereirinha – also a target for Bolton and Fulham. Rovers’ Spanish defender Michel Salgado, meanwhile, has tipped Rafa Benítez for a move to his former club Real Madrid. “Why not? The opinion on Rafa in Spain is great.”

Fernando Torres has volunteered to star in a football-themed celebrity TV cook-off. “I’d love to arrange a World Cup Come Dine With Me,” says the Anfield-based sensation. “I’ve been a fan of cookery shows since I arrived in England in 2007 and Come Dine With Me is by far my favourite. They do a celebrity one, so why not a football one? It would be great. Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher would be good on it too.”

Honestly, we didn’t make that up. Someone else might have, of course, but it definitely wasn’t us. Anyway, it’s not even the weirdest football-related quote of the day. That came with news that football hardman turned gurning Hollywood bit-of-rough Vinnie Jones has given an exclusive interview to women’s magazine Glamour. “I like going to see the little Chinese lady down the road for manicures and pedicures,” he said. “It all comes down to hygiene. I’m very big on lotions.”

Manchester CityManchester UnitedTottenham HotspurNewcastle UnitedQPRBlackburn RoversSimon Burntonguardian.co.uk